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Meh, Valentine’s day is about 2 weeks around the corner and I couldn’t care less. (Or could I? hmm) If you’re reading this, then you probably have the assumption that I am a bitter woman venting about this horrid holiday because I have no one to play tonsil hockey with – and this just isn’t true because I love Valentine’s Day. Actually – yes, that is true. So bring on the Valentine’s Day Humor!
On a brighter note, here are some of the realities of Valentine’s Day, in other words, what the media says it should be like, and how it actually is. Because, let’s face it, all it is, is a day that men are expected to go all out for you, but little do you know they absolutely hate it deep down and can’t wait for it to be February 15th so they can be an asshole again. Ooooh, I am starting to sound bitter again – let’s get to the list:
Imagining your cute little better half strategically placing rose petals on the ground sure seems blissful, right?
Yeah, good luck with finding someone who will go through all that work. If you’re single, you know your floor is going to stay bare, but if you aren’t, expect it to be, because sorting those roses are way too much work for a guy. LOL.
“Omg, Aw!- what could he possible have behind his back?!”
If he has his hand(s) behind his back, just assume he is in pain. Like I said, never get your hopes up darlings.
We ALL envision the perfect romantic kiss to be like this one:
If you want any passion like scenes from “The Notebook“, get it organically, not artificially…for example:
He ain’t decorating his bed unless he REALLY effed up. So just expect this:
Guys don’t see the significance in wrapping, creativity, and special touches when it comes to giving gifts. Just expect these on your porch…late….on February 21st .
Oh yes – how sweet it would be to feed each other chocolates on the couch, right?
If you’re reading this, you’re likely single. It’s okay, hand feed yourself. But please don’t do it on the kitchen floor.
Aww – romantic bubble bath prepared by your bae?
Again, expect a cold shower, with, or without bae. Who got their hopes up? Not you, darling!
Just like every night, you’ll be laying there, contemplating life. Not cuddling. Most people won’t be – it’s OK!
This is actually a lot of work for a guy to do, so don’t be disappointed. It probably took him 6 months to plan this out. You have to admit though – this is pretty hilarious. Thank God for Valentine’s Day Humor! 😂
A romantic dinner isn’t exactly unrealistic….unless you’re single. The struggle is real.
Ahhhhh, the joys of hearing all the girls with their sunshiny smiles and sunshiny dresses prance around waiting to be treated like a princess even though they are prissy and only have the sense of entitlement. The truth is, what he does the other 364 days is what really counts.
Do you have any suggestions on what can be added to this funny list? Let them be heard in the comment section below!
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