Affiliate Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission. Read full privacy policy here.
If you’re feeling depressed, you are not alone! Yes, this post is a little different than the kind that I usually post, but I’m not going to lie, today I am just feeling lower than low. You know those Sundays, when you have nothing to do but think about the present, reflect on regrets from the past and fear the future? That is exactly what today is for me, and likely for you too, since you are reading this.
By the end of this post I want you to feel inspired, motivated and positive. Let’s get this crappy feeling out of our system with some inspirational quotes, fun items to spoil yourself with, ideas on relaxation techniques, uplifting music and more. If you read through this post and don’t feel better by the end of it, then you…well, that won’t happen because you will feel better – just trust me, a fellow hopeless drifter. 🙂
Quick Reminder
So, before I start the list off, I just want to say this: Whatever it is you are going through, no matter what it is, you can and will get through it. In the darkest of tragedies, time still passes, seasons change, and the sun continues to shine.
When something tragic happens to us, we wonder how on earth the rest of the world continues to move on, while we are stuck, frozen in time, with this heavy burden of suffering that seems like it will last forever. I will tell you this, it won’t last forever and time truly does heal. Hard work solves problems, positive attitudes change your mood, and perspective can save your life. I will expand more on what I mean throughout this post, Stay with me here!
1. Be Thankful for Anything and Everything
What I mean by this is that, someone is always going through something similar to you, and even more people are going through something worse than you are. Google is your friend, as well as Youtube in this case. Why? Well, check out the following videos/photos/stories and allow yourself to be grateful for the little things, such as you living in an environment where you have the freedom to browse the internet. It sounds stupid now, but as a survivor of a terrible car crash, and losing my son, I have learned to appreciate the simplest of things, like the fact that my car accident didn’t cause me to become paralyzed or disabled.
Just remember this: Some people in the world, would do anything in the world to be YOU and to have your life. When work sucks, you hate your boss, you’re financially drowning, you are going through a breakup, or accidentally let one rip in front of your crush (Hey, I gotta squeeze in some humor here in there), remember these examples of strength, survival and being unstoppable regardless of how bad life gets.
Nick Vujici
Nick Vujuci lives life with no limbs. born with tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder characterized by the absence of arms and legs. That’s right, no arms, and no legs. It may be hard to imagine, but Nick does his best to live his life to the fullest, inspire others who have more abilities than him, and overcome what most people would tell him is impossible. Watch this video that will move you to value the lessons of life that are taught to us by pain, heartache and loss.
Christopher Reeve
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” – Christopher Reeve
If you don’t know the story of Christopher Reeve, listen up, because his story really does make you realize that you can survive anything, even after having everything.
Here is a little backstory from My Hero Story
Reeve was best known for his role as Superman — he was Superman. Reeve said, “What makes Superman a hero is not that he has power, but that he has the wisdom and the maturity to use the power wisely. From an acting point of view, that’s how I approached the part.” He also did some other films during his career. Life was going great until 1995. During the cross-country portion of a horseback riding show, he was thrown off his horse head first onto the ground. He fractured the uppermost vertebrae in his spinal cord and couldn’t breathe. The doctors practically had to reconnect his head back onto his spine. After all was said and done, Superman was paralyzed from the neck down.
Here is a snapshot from when Reeve played the role of ‘Superman’ – when he had it all. Stardom, mobility/health, good looks, and playing a role that we all know so well:
After his accident in 1995, Reeves lived the rest of his life in a wheelchair before dying in 2004:
In the following video clip, Reeves explains his perspective months before his accident, while he was playing a movie role as someone paralyzed in a wheelchair. He recalls playing the role, then getting out of the chair, and driving home, thinking to himself “Thank God that’s not me” – which is what we all do right? we always think that the unimaginable things in life can’t happen to us. Tragedy can happen to any of us, at any moment, when you least expect it. Take comfort in your condition, and what you do have, at all times, because you may not have it tomorrow, or even at the end of the day.
Brendon Burchard
Brendon Burchard states in his bio, that: “At 19 years old, standing bloody atop the mangled hood of a wrecked car after an accident, I learned those three vital questions. Every day since then, I have tried to live my life so that I’m happy with the answers. I deeply understand that I have been gifted a second chance.” You can check out his videos and more of his story here: Brendon Burchard
These are just a few of the many inspiring people we have/had in the world who chose to make a different with their circumstances. By refusing to accept the word ‘Impossible”, and “limitations”, we can make our possibilities limitless.
2. My Own Story & Perspective
Brendon’s story inspired me personally because I too survived a horrific car crash, which I probably shouldn’t have survived. If you watched the video of his that I posted above, or if you have been so close to death, you know what it does to you. My car crash took my precious son, Jaxon away from me at the age of 6.5 weeks old. He was my entire world, the light of my life, and my entire heart and soul.
As the car was tumbling down the side of a road that went downhill, I remember vividly a few moments before I became unconscious thinking to myself “Oh, God, I am about to die. I am about to die and meet my maker, and me and my son are going to die”, I started screaming in prayer for God to help me, and to forgive me for all the things I did wrong in my life because I knew I was close to taking my last breath. At that same moment, the car continued to roll, and I became unconscious, the car was crushed, I was upside down, and saw that there was no way out. I could see a man trying to look inside the car, yelling “The Ambulance is coming…It’s Okay, we’re going to get you out!”.
I remember thinking “There is so way they are going to be able to get me out of this car….there’s no room, there is no escape….the car is going to blow up and I am going to die”. Well, I went unconscious again, and the next time I woke up, I was laying in the grass near the car and looked over, dazed and confused, wondering if I was dreaming, or if I really was alive because I definitely wasn’t in heaven.
Outcome
My son didn’t make it, but after healing, after the funeral, after time to grieve, I realized how lucky I was to be alive. I realized that the things I used to complain about were pointless. I always looked at what I didn’t have, “Ugh, I don’t have a big family”, “ugh, I wish I could star in a movie”, “ugh, I wish I looked like Taylor Swift” or “Ugh, My boss is such a jerk” – Now, When I hear people complain about little things without seeing the bigger picture, I realize that the one thing I got from all the pain and loss was an appreciation for simple things like breathing, waking up another day, being safe, being an American, having a job, and in good health – and those things were perhaps the younger me’s trash, and my present me’s treasure.
Do I still wonder “Why me?” or get upset/bitter when I see a mother with their newborn baby? Of course. It is normal to want to make sense of everything and get angry about the fact that you didn’t deserve what happened to you. Sometimes, even 5 years later, I still cry my eyes out as if the accident just happened, but as time passes, you become used to your “new normal” and get comfortable with coping without breaking down all the time.
The truth is that I should not be here and if I am going to live on this earth without my son, you better believe I am going to do my best to help others through their darkest times. I never thought in a million years that I would ever be able to smile again after his death. I ate my feelings, hid in my room for years doing nothing, tried all the medications in the world, every relaxation technique in the book. Yet, here I am, smiling often, and sitting here without tears in my eyes, telling you my story.
Strength like this only comes with time. It took my YEARS to get back to being healthy again, both mentally and physically. You need TIME to heal. Hang in there. Believe me, when the hardest part of your pain passes, and you process it, accept it and find meaning in it, and can share it with others – you feel strong, powerful, motivated and proud of yourself.
You can read more about our story here: Facebook – Jaxon Alexander Kelley
So, if you are reading this thinking that it is just another post from a person behind a computer trying to tell YOU how to be happy, or live life to the fullest, without any idea of the heartache that life can bring and what it means, now you know that I am not, and all this advice is coming from someone with perspective and perhaps even a little wisdom. If I can get through that, you can get through ANYTHING!!! Take everything one step at a time, one day at a time, and you will see that things will get better.
3. Exercise
You didn’t want to hear this one, but it is TRUE. I was so depressed for years after the accident and when I started exercising everyday, lost a lot of weight and made myself go daily until it became a habit that I NEEDED to have to feel good – that is when I finally started feeling better, hopeful and optimistic about the future. I still go almost every day and when I don’t go, I feel more depressed and stressed out. Exercise allows you to release negative energy and anger. Read here for the many benefits of exercise on mental health.
So, I testify this to be absolutely true:
4. Avoid Websites, Television and Music that Trigger what Hurts You.
When you are going through a break-up, do you listen to sad songs about feeling incomplete and empty without someone? Well, if you do, don’t! Stop! It will only make you cry a river and drown yourself in every drop.
Do you listen to love songs that are happy, go-lucky, and romantic? Again, Don’t! Listen to music that is appropriate to your situation. If you are going through a break up, you need to be listening to songs like this:
Now, these tips may sound like no-brainers, but again cling to all things that provide a positive and REALISTIC perspective. Don’t watch love movies when your heart is broken, don’t watch a movie about a happy family and their white-picket fence if you feel lonely, and don’t go to websites about how to commit suicide when you are depressed. And trust me, I know that it can be hard to avoid things like this because things like TV commercials and whatnot seem to always feature happy people, happy families, healthy and beautiful women and perfect relationships. Those things can make it hard to not trick yourself into thinking in black and white.
Watch movies that inspire you, listen to music that empowers you and use the wonder of the internet to read, watch and listen to motivational and positive content. Don’t make things worse for yourself by letting something like an unrealistic happy ending in a movie make you feel bad about your own, REAL life. You got this! Here is a song that will lift you: Christina Aguilera – Keep On Singin’ My Song.
Here is a list of more POSITIVE songs that will help empower and inspire you to keep going. Which are categorized by themes and what they will help get you through. There are many songs about heartbreak and pain, but the ones I am listing are ones that WON’T make you cry, or in other words, make you feel worse.
Songs for:
General Inspiration & Motivation
Imagine Dragons – Whatever it Takes
David Guetta Feat Sia – Flames
Sam Tinnesz – Legends Are Made
Being Treated Badly:
Heartbreak:
Miranda Lambert – Gunpowder and Lead
Christina Aguilera – I Hate Boys
5. Buy Yourself Something to Help You Relax
Treat yourself, honey cakes! Buy yourself something comforting. Here are some ideas:
Using mindfulness has helped me a lot with rationalizing my thinking, my perspective and understanding myself better. This book is an amazing journal that asks you questions and you fill them out. It distracts you in a peaceful way when other relaxation methods don’t help you with distractions that trigger your emotions.
The Mindfulness Journal
Adult Coloring Book
Coloring is distracting, relaxing, and allows you to be creative without much thought having to be put into it. There are many different types you can choose from if you click the link:
Adult Coloring Book: Butterflies and Flowers : Stress Relieving Patterns (Volume 7)
Feeling Angry? Then get this one: Go F*ck Yourself, I’m Coloring: Swear Word Coloring Book
Supplements
One of the most popular blends of anti-stress supplements you can find. Here is a little bit of info:
- An Anti-Stress magnesium supplement designed to help you relax.
- Triple Calm blends the best forms of chelated magnesium for optimal absorption.
- This magnesium blend is easy on your stomach unlike citrate and other forms of magnesium!
- A great supplement to help you return to your natural, healthy rhythm of life.
- Vegetarian, NON-GMO, and Gluten Free.
Back and Neck Massager
FIVE S Shiatsu Neck and Back Massager with Heat, Beige
Nothing beats a massage that you can have whenever you want, when you want, and without any help. The heat feature just adds to the relaxing aspect.
Pillow Mist:
Getting a good nights rest is always important for your mental health, so I recommend this:
Hemp Gummies
These are legal, and will not get you high, so don’t freak out. But, they do offer tons of benefits that may take the edges off:
- Relieve Pain
- Reduce Anxiety
- Fight Nausea
- Relief Insomnia
- Lower Inflammation
- Soothe Muscle Spasms
- Enhance your Brain Activity & Mood
Get here: Amazon
6. Look at Inspiring Quotes
Who doesn’t feel at least a little better after looking at some inspiring, insightful quotes?
This is true, ya know:
Concluding Thoughts
No matter what you do, or how you choose to deal with stress, hardship and sorrow, please do it in a way that doesn’t harm yourself or others. That way, in the future, when things are better (they will be!!), you will be able to not only look back on this time of your life and realize how much you overcame, but you will also be able to help others for the rest of your life. No one has been through what you have been through, as we each have our own story that may consist of similar events, but also consist of different people, different perspectives, and different periods of time, locations and ages. Be strong.
It is possible to go on!
I know it seems impossible to do right now, if you are still reading this, but it isn’t, you just think it is. The truth is, all of the things in this post will help, but if you are suffering from a loss, a tragedy, or a betrayal, time is the key. You have to face your emotions, and accept that they are real, but they are normal reactions to the events that occur in our lives. Cry the sad tears now, and eventually you will cry happy tears one day and be grateful that you decided to KEEP GOING.
A life without pain, loss and sadness is not possible. But a life lived accepting those things and using them for extraordinary things makes almost anything POSSIBLE. Your pain has purpose, you just have to figure out what it is. Drugs, alcohol, sex, spending money, gambling, and doing other risky and/or harmful things will only make life worse. If you let your pain lead you down a destructive path, then that pain, or the source/person who gave you that pain wins. Don’t let them/it win. You are stronger than you think, and if you still don’t believe me, re-read this post until you believe it.
“I know how challenging it can be to think positive when there are so many things going wrong in your life, but until you change the way that you think, you will not achieve the life that you are looking for.” David A. Hunter, Positive Thinking
Remember, if you are ever having thoughts of harming yourself, others or committing suicide, reach out for help: 1-800-273-8255 or Text CONNECT to 741741 from anywhere in the USA, anytime, about any type of crisis.
Remember: Even when feeling depressed or worthless, your life matters and is special and this too shall pass. Promise. 🙂
