Top Funny Quotes and Jokes for the Ultimate Laugh!

Affiliate Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission. Read full privacy policy here.

Crystal Eve is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Everyone can appreciate some good, funny quotes and jokes, so this list post is one that anyone can enjoy! Whether you fancy a knee-slap-worthy one liner, a classic meme caption or just a good, old-fashion giggle-inducing quote – I got you.

Oh, and don’t yell at me if I sneak in a couple cheesy dad jokes. I am 99.9% certain that I will sneak in more than a couple, actually. 😂

Funny Quotes & Jokes List

Okay, get ready to wiggle n’ giggle, and twerk n’ smirk to these quirky nuggets of fun humor!

1. You’re Unique! But Not Really

I know, I know, this is a little dose of some subtle humor, BUT it is all about how you time the mid-sentence pause. Thanks for this funny quote, Margaret Mead!

2. Don’t Give Elsa Balloons!

If this joke doesn’t make you laugh, it is going to be REALLY difficult for me to “let it go”.

3. Funny Quotes: YOLO or YODO?

He’s not wrong…😂 I mean, Dwight Schrute is never wrong. FACT.

4. Boos & Booze

The ghosts bring the booze, the pumpkins bring the pie and I get some spooky spectacular savings! Halloween puns are fun!

5. Sparkly Stripping Spider Joke

I hate spiders more than anything else on the planet. However, when you spray one with glitter, make it dance and give it a cute nickname? HA – okay, who I am I kidding – I’d still hate the little f*cker, but this joke is absolutely fantastic.

6. Peeling Oranges is Cardio

This funny quote is was said by Kevin James from his HILARIOUS stand-up comedy special, “Sweat the Small Stuff“. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend you check it out!

It is on Netflix right now, here: Sweat the Small Stuff Comedy

7. If your Dog Eats your Homework…

Just leave them speechless by doing this! (Joke from Fatherly)

8. Don’t “Techno” for an Answer!

This one is pretty clever and pretty fun to say. “HECK NO, I WILL NOT TECHNO FOR AN ANSWER, KAREN!”

9. FRESH PRINCE PRINTS

Get it? Look for the fresh prints of the FRESH PRINCE. Ba-ha!

10. Funny Joke about 50 Cents + a Nickelback

HAHA – This one is so silly, but makes so much CENTS! 😂 More hilarious 50 cent themed jokes can be found here.

These were just some of my favorites and if you liked this list of funny quotes and jokes, also check out my other post of random fun facts!